Of guilt and Parenthood...

It’s really easy to make mistakes, to possibly do something really terrible and forgive yourself for it, to mess up big time and keep it as your little deep dark secret that NO ONE else has to know about….. but when you get caught doing it…don’t you wish that the Earth swallowed you whole or perhaps the sky abducted you, or even better you could dig a hole big enough for yourself and just bury yourself in there!?!?
*shudders*
I hate being caught after doing something I know is wrong!
Then there is the supermassive guilt attack.. And then its just so suffocating, you wish that something worse happened so you wouldn’t have to deal with this!
Ok ….so what I’m trying to say is, I’m a terrible person and I did something that could qualify for being criminal, and my parents found out! Even in the worst case scenario I hoped them to be the last to ever catch me red-handed!
But they did.
My reaction…. DENIAL. Downright, in your face, don’t-you-point-your-finger-at-me denial! And I tried my best till I myself could believe it!
One thing a daughter/son should always keep in mind, your parents weren’t born yesterday; they probably know you better than you think they do.
Ok so I have learnt that now!
After a point, my parents gave up. But they had not even yelled at me or even shown teensy-weensy bit of anger. (super-supermassive guilt attack)
And they pretended that nothing happened, even after they knew I was at fault.
Oh god! I could just kill myself! I wish they had yelled!
But today I had the courage to do the right thing.
A friend talked me through it. Thanks! =)
I apologized to my dad, through a message, coz I knew I wouldn’t be able to face him in the evening otherwise. For Christ’s sake! I couldn’t even face myself in the morning!
‘Don’t worry, we will always forgive you. Ask us if ever you need anything. Tc.’ He replies.
I could’ve bawled like a baby!! How do they have the strength to do that!!!???
I still have to go home and apologize to mom. Hope she forgives me too! At times like this, I wish I had a brown paper bag handy…so that I wouldn’t have to show her my face!
Being a parent is NOT easy!!
I love both of them…and my sister.

In other news….
Work is going really well!
I’m enjoying it now.
There are people at my workplace, who call me ‘Isha madam’!
How cool is that!?!?
With my supervisor in France, my boss in Hong Kong, and my class-mate Viyanka taking bed-rest, I am in-charge!! I’m loving it! Although slightly nervous, I think I will be just fine! *grins*

7 quacks:

Anurag said...

That's why one should never got caught in the first place :P
and if one gets caught then he/she should never lie coz that become kinda like a second mistake !!!

Hyperactive maniac said...

yeah see, i didn't 'intend' to get caught! :P
It just wasn't my day! :(
oh well!

Joel said...

>:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<

Joel said...

i kinda know exactly how that feels like .. when i was a kid i had these stupid ideas of experimenting with stuff .. and most often the experiment would be a fatal failure .. and then id have to lie about it .. trust me its hard when u dont have a sibling to blame it on .. the first reaction to getting caught is always outright denial.. but its was my mums eyes .. u couldnt keep anything from her .. shes get it out of ya .. one way or the other .. have fallen so many times that i think i have learned how to not fall .. and even if i do .. i think our parents will always forgive and forget in a heart beat if they know ur truly sorry .. ! so its all part of cool ride called life .. >:D<

Anindita said...

>:D<

It takes a big person to admit that they have done wrong. I'm so proud of you. Be strong, stay strong and next time, DON'T GET CAUGHT!!! :P

Mwah!

BIG Omi said...

Ahhh.. lucky you.. your parents are super awesome mate... o i'll say modern thinkers..

it is just an approach to let a kid try different things without the fear of making mistakes....

i repeat .. u r lucky... !!!

u got great international office ISHA MADAM .. ;)

Tc.
Omi

Hyperactive maniac said...

@ big Omi
Hey! Thanks for dropping by my blog!
and yeah I figured I am lucky!
but that doesn't mean i'm gonna go around trying something like that again!
they've made their point :D

and its quite a thrill to hear someone call me ISHA MADAM :D :D :D

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