First loves are always tricky.
It’s a lot of firsts.
First jealousy pangs, first compliment, first ‘aww-moment’, first time you say ‘I love you’ to a boy, first kiss.
And then the fights, the misunderstandings, the tears and finally, the first heart-shattering break up.
The tricky part is moving on.
After that is done, are you ready to do it all over again?
Maybe not. What changes?

You see, Wisdom is the opposite of love, and love survives within us precisely coz it isn't wise. It’s like being in this love boat….where slowly the boat gets so overcrowded with love and stupidity and emotions, that to keep it afloat, you start throwing out your pride, your self respect, your logical reasoning...and when there is nothing else to be thrown out, the boat starts sinking...taking you down with it...it's inevitable.
So you get smart and you try your best to not fall in love again.
It’s sort of a Defense mechanism. You just don’t put yourself in a position where the other person can hurt you, before he/ she hurts you. It works just fine.
Does that make you cold hearted? Being wary of love? Or does that make you a cynic?
Being cautious is not a bad thing right? That does not make me a closed book….or does it?

Our lives are governed by our fears.......its hopelessly lost somewhere in our fears…

Fear….that developed at a tender age, even when we the word fear was a non existent word in our vocabulary.....fear then was limited to mom scolding, or dad beating or not being a teacher’s pet…..

But as we grow…so do our fears….fear of rejection….fear of failure….fear of loss….fear of pain…..fear of end…..fear itself….it overpowers our and takes control…..

Whats worse is, it compels us to start building boundaries around ourselves to stop others from entering them, to stop them from hurting us…… not realizing that we are only fencing ourselves in and wasting our own life by not crossing these lines….never knowing what we could have…never knowing what’s beyond it…..never knowing who we really are…..

Life is full of ironies......*sigh*